The Last of the Bad Men

The Deniz Tek-inclusive punk band The Last Of The Bad Men has a new album out. A review is pending at the I-94 Bar. Sharp observers will note the inclusion of a Deniz Tek Group song and Radio Birdman's "Hit 'Em Again". Meanwhile, here's an online write-up with which Bar staff concur. And if you want to lay your hands on a copy, go here. Day To Ride!

Just plain doggone strange

You see some strange things from behind the bar but few as weird as this.

Hey Hey Let's Go with Tish and Snooky

That's haberdasherers to the punk rock stars, Tish and Snooky (aka the Sic Fucks), paying tribute at the Joey Ramone Birthday Bash in NYC in May. Cheetah Chrome is on guitar. Andy Shernoff and J.P. Patterson of the Dictators were the house band engine room and played a set with Manitoba's Wild Kingdom too.

Then He Killed Me

Wacky Phil Spector finally gets a re-trial on September 29. The jury was locked 10-2 (that's most in favour of a guilty verdict) when the murder trial judge decided to call the whole thing off a few months ago. It's been five years since Phil had to be tazered and locked up by California cops following the shooting model and actress Lana Clarkson in Spector's L.A. mansion. Who's holding their breath?

Jello Five-O

Happy premature birthday wishes to Ol' Helium Vocal and ex-Dead Kennedy, Jello Biafra, whose having a party in June to celebrate.

Coming down the pipeline

It'll have to be good to top Paul Trynka's Igbook. Brett Callwood penned an MC5 tome which is as yet unreviewed around the I-94 Bar.

Why march when you can riot?

Well, there’s another music-based protest group in town. This time, it's a mob called Melbourne Locked Out , whose cause is the recent legislation which venues clubs from letting punters in after 2.00am, in a bid to stop the rampaging hordes of party heads who roam the streets from bar to strip joint to all nighter in a desperate frenzy of entertainment lust.
Seriously, though, I don’t think that people who move on from place to place are the root cause or the major cause of trouble. That goes back to our old friends, young men and alcohol, as well as the fact that the venue which gets you pissy drunk has no responsibility for your behavior once you walk out the door.
I myself rarely do the rounds- once I’m at a place I usually stay there til the bitter end. Though having said that, last Friday I went to the Double Agents gig at Cherry, caught part of Spencer Jones’ set at the Spanish Club, and ended the night watching Johnny Casino & the Secrets at Bar Open. All this was before 2.00am, though, so I guess it doesn’t count.
Anyway, you know the form- Friday afternoon, meet, march, yell, then go home. No, go to a club, til at least 4.00am. Good luck.

Janine Hall

My friend Janine died last week. While the circumstances are still a little cloudy, they’re not really important. What matters is that she’s gone.

Born in New Zealand, she was an enthusiastic and notable part of the Australian music scene. She was a member of Melbourne’s legendary Young Charlatans back in the early days, playing her bass alongside Rowland Howard (pre-Boys Next Door/Birthday Party) Ollie Olsen (pre-Whirlywirld/NO/Max Q) and Jeffrey Wegener (pre-Laughing Clowns). Janine later joined the Saints for two albums (“The Monkey Puzzle” and “Out In The Jungle”- yes, that’s her playing on “Always” and “Follow The Leader”) and plenty of live shows in the early 80s, before moving onto Mick Thomas’ Weddings Parties Anything. That’s some CV- and that’s only the edited highlights.
She trained and worked as an acupuncturist in recent years, and as a sceptic I was surprised by the difference a few treatments from her made to my tinnitus. And she never really let me pay her for them, either, preferring a few beers and a game or two of pool at the Tote to cash.
Her funeral is private, but there will be a wake held for friends at idGAFF on Thursday afternoon, 29 May, from 3.00 til 7.00pm. See you there.

Pic- Janine and co. on the back cover of "The Monkey Puzzle"

Update- this just came to my attention:
There will now be a funeral service for Janine Hall.
The service will be at Lonergan WG Raven at 187 Queens Parade Clifton Hill at 2pm sharp on Thursday May 29.
A wake will follow at IDGAFF 160 Hoddle St Abbotsford from 3pm.
All those who knew Janine are welcome.

Please pass on the info.

Diner chain gets down with rock 'n' roll

Anyone from anywhere outside the USA who's spent any time in the States will be familiar with the Denny's chain of 24-hour diners. They also might cringe at the quality, if not quantity, of what's served up there.

It seems Denny's is not seen as a hip and happening place anymore.

USA Today reports: "From 10 p.m. to 5 a.m., alternative rock will replace the middle-of-the-road music now piped in. Instead of black pants and collared shirts, wait staff will wear jeans and T-shirts during these hours.

"The chain also is launching two late-night-only menus. One is a value menu with items such as nacho cheese fries for $3.99. The other is a "shareable" menu, with seasoned kettle chips, mini-burgers and $7 Sweet Ride Nachos — tortilla chips in cinnamon sugar, fruit, hot fudge and whipped cream. It's even hired alternative-rock bands to help create late-night items".

Tortilla chips in cinnamon sugar, hot fudge and whipped cream, FFS?

Exactly what 'alternative-rock band' with severe munchies created that one?

Ever since the Dictators hooked into White Castle burgers, Mama Cass made an art form of ham sandwiches and Elvis fried up his first peanut butter sandwiches, clogged arteries have been so rock and roll.

Makes the Australian road band meal of choice ("It's a long way to the shop/If you want a Chiko roll") seem positively healthy by comparison:

Bob and Chuck are Down On The Street

There's a mini-Bobfest happening at the I-94 Bar right now so the thought of Dylan, Chuck Berry and Iggy & The Stooges on the one festival bill is not as silly as it sounds. Oh to live in Baltimore.

Lemmy

He and his band have their fans and the adoration tends to lean towards fanatical. I can't confess to being a Motorhead freak but I some of their early stuff is great ("Ace of Spades".) I can appreciate both the intent of Motorhead and the impact that mainman Lemmy's high-decibel assault has had on sensibilities around the world.

There's now a movie in the pipeline and you can view the trailer here.

Hey Ho Let's Go With Arturo

Graphic designer, lighting operator and merchandise man Arturo Vega (pictured centre) was crucial to the Ramones’ visual presentation and legacy, devising the band logo plastering it across hundreds of thousands of T-shirts down the years. Plenty of bands fail to keep a handle on their merch licensing but the Ramones are the exception to the rule. Vega even played nursemaid to the dysfunctional duo of Joey and Dee Dee, giving them a place to live in his Bowery loft. So he deserves much respect.

Stay Thirsty has a good interview here.

Powertrane/Iceman hit the road

Click to read the fine print.

I Need That Record: Documenting the fall (or survival) of independent record stores

This documentary looks like it's performing a vital community service. It's stil in post-production and seeing for a distributor.
More info here

Johnny Casino & The Secrets: "Cowboys & Indians"

The big fella's gone and made a video for the EP on Off the Hip by the same name:

Masters Apprentices - Future Of Our Nation

Australia's Masters Apprentices in their heavy days. These one's for bass player Glenn Wheatley to watch now he's out of prison on tax charges. That's Doug Ford on lead guitar.

Future Lemonheads, New Christs, The Eastern Dark members caught in short pants

A copy of the first musical outing for members of these bands has gone up at eBay and dates from their schooldays at Sydney's Patrican Brothers Fairfield High. It's said to include gems like "House of the Rising Sun" and "Jesus Christ Superstar". Ex-The Eastern Dark member Bill Gibson furiously denies its right to exist, of course, and claims a former I-94 Bar contributor has a similarly artefact of Nick Cave in a school choir.

What's next? Tapes of the (post-jail) Wayne Kramer Band playing late-'70s cabaret standards? I've never heard them but have it on very good authority (from a jilted band member, no less) that they do exist.

Four way action weekend

There's a lot going on.

On Friday, The Double Agents play a farewell show at Cherry before heading off on their second European tour.

The Double Agents are bidding farewell to their beloved Oz, as they head off on their second sojourn to Europe in early June. Taking a stellar new line-up, regulars Dave Butterworth, Kim Walvisch and Chris Loughtman will be joined by Callum John Barter(Ancient Free Gardeners) on the skins and Dave Larkin (yes, he of Dallas Crane infamy) on bass guitar. Playing their blistering brand of garage country swamp in one final Melbourne show before heading to France, Holland, Switzerland, Germany, Spain, Italy & Belgium, the tour will also celebrate the vinyl release of their last album “Seemed Like A Good Idea…” on prestigious French label Beast Records. Dave Larkin kicks off the evening with a solo slot before The Agents smack you across the face with a set (or two). ‘Tis an early show - done and dusted by 11:30pm. Expect their usual bar-rattlin’ shenanigans as well as a raffle of rare and unique Double Agents memorabilia to help raise touring funds.

See? It's an early show. So a bit later on Friday night, you can probably make it across town to see Sydney's Johnny Casino bring his Secrets to Bar Open in Fitzroy for a one-off freebie with the Shimmys and Midnight Woolf.

This is an opportunity that's impossible to pass up- did I mention it was free? Here's some YouTube of them doing "Cowboys And Indians" to whet your appetite, if you need it.
Then on Saturday, there's are two more excellent lineups. At Ding Dong:

Rowland's stick insect silhouette is a familiar enough sight around certain parts of town, but I haven't seen him play live for ages. And he's playing with Kes, too. I really shouldn't have to say any more- this is guaranteed to be intriguing, and entertaining.

BUT there's stiff competition from the Espy, where you can see Dave Graney & the Coral Snakes with the almighty Wagons, who are headlining if the relative sizes of the band names on the Espy's gig guide wall is anything to go by:

That's for free too, by the way. And no, I don't know who that bloke is.
Finally, on Sunday, there's an open day at St.Kilda police station in Chapel St., from 10.00 til 3.00, if you fancy it. All sorts of entertainment is planned- but I just want to see if my phone number is still scratched into the wall of womens' cell number three.

Waiting for the Sun

The Internerd throws up the strangest people. Some of them are seriously mentally unwell, I'm sure. But to more important questions: Did Jim Morrison have a son? And does he front a band called Lizard Sun King?

If you haven't heard it before, the story begins with a bloke named Cliff Morrison/Marston. You can see him and his band Lizard Sun King below:



There's a startling physical resemblance between Cliff and The Lizard King in his declining years, sure, and his pitch and tone are similar. But why doesn't the guy go and get a DNA test and grab a chunk of the (ever-expanding) Morrison estate? Or get himself a decent lawyer and stay out of jail if this posting from the John Densmore forum is true.

Here's the San Diego TV news story that announced this whole thing in 1993:



That was 16 years ago and Cliff looks like he's broken through to the other side a few times since then. A confirmed Doors progeny, guitarist Waylon Kreiger, has played with him or has been overdubbed onto one of his recordings, depending on what story you believe.

Cliff sure gets around. According to this, he was married to a member of Marlon Brando's family. He's one of the star attractions at a Las Vegas (where else?) festival to apparently raise funds for research into diabetes here.

If someone tells me that Cliff's CD being flogged on some website called doors.com is irrefutable evidence that the guy sprang from the loins of Jimbo four decades ago, excuse me for guffawing. If that is a legit Doors Pty Ltd website you just know they'd sell the coke-denuded nasal cartilage of the late Danny Sugerman to make a buck.

I doubt the authenticity of this exchange of letters ("legal council"?) in The Lizard King Lounge and what looks like a badly Photoshopped picture of Cliff's band being given star billing at L.A.'s Whisky-a-Go-Go.

Anyway, back to the mentally unwell and there are minutes of entertainment in this gem of a thread from some message board with Jim's daughter solemnly weighing in and the not unexpected contemporary sightings of Mr Mojo Rising keeping things real.

Will the real Morrison offspring please stand up? Given Jim's inability to keep his own lizard in his leather pants, I have a feeling there are plenty of them out there.

"If you think you might be slurring a little..."

"...then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English".

It's Number 55 from the "86 Rules of Drinking".

The 10 Commandments For Drinking Like a Man

They seem to be missing one about not missing your shout (translation for readers outside Australia: Your turn for buying a compulsory round of drinks.) Read the rest of them here.

Something mindlessly clever

What is it? Not telling (but it's Safe For Work and entirely harmless to your computer.) Click here.

Don't idolise Idol creator

Pop Idol creator Simon Fuller is the most successful British music manager of all time, according Billboard, with his acts selling 116 million units in the US alone. He’s managed The Spice Girls and Annie Lennox, has been responsible for more than 500 number-one singles globally, and more than 240 number-one albums.

According to Billboard, that makes him more important than Peter Grant (Led Zeppelin, Bad Company) and Beatles manager Brian Epstein. I suppose you could throw in Andrew Loog-Oldham (who managed the Stones in their formative years as well as Wham!) and Malcolm McLaren. They certainly had a strong and lasting impact on popular culture, even if they didn't accumulate massive fortunes.

The fact that Fuller created the Pop Idol franchise is NOT good, peoples. It homogenizes music and stifles creativity, just continuing the downward spiral of rock and roll. For this alone he deserves to have his fingernails ripped out with pliers while being bombarded with a loop of Barry Manilow music.

Wall of Sound engineer turned down

Audio engineer Larry Levine - the power behind nutty Phil Spector's throne and the man who put the vision of the Wall of Sound into reality - has died. Obit here.

Alice Cooper for President

Vote early, vote often here. Link courtesy of The Iceman.

Wear your face on your record sleeve

It's been around for a while but Sleeveface, the website that solicits people doing inventive things with LP covers, is still providing minutes of amusement. Cop a faceful here.

Catch me I'm falling

This looks suspiciously like the Australian Government's latest salvo in its campaign to ban binge drinking. It's also one of the trippiest Shockwave animations staff at the I-94 Bar have ever seen. Knock yourself out here.

Freak of the Century vs The Pirate Bay

Torrentfreak.com says that Micheal Jackson and several other artists plan to take on BitTorrent file-sharing website The Pirate Bay. The king of pop hired the infamous ‘Web Sheriff’ to protect his rights. “Hey Michael - do you want us to pay you in small kids maybe?” was the first response of Pirate Bay admin Brokep. More here.

We at the I-94 Bar admit to sampling the odd bit of shared fileage at The Pirate Bay, but usually just to check out something we plan to buy. It's tempting to roll out a line about Jacko cutting off his nose to spite his face but that's occurred already.

Calling All Hipsters

We all see 'em, hanging out at gigs or more likely in record stores. Some of you may be one of 'em. Now someone's written a book about hipsters. As if they need any encouragement.

How to Make a Living From Music

Hey working musicians - you only need a fanbase of 1000 people to make a viable living from your music these days according to blogger/Wired contributor Kevin Kelly.

STOP PRESS: I note from Don Craine's regular column in Ugly Things magazine that the Downliners Sect (ancient Pommy beat band that wears deerstalker hats) used this very method to fund their newest album.

Underbelly

As one of the main players in Melbourne's gang wars heads home to jail, it's time to confess my part in the drama- I once lived in the same street as his sister-in-law. Yes, that ugly house that was put up (and lost) as bail surety was just up the road from me. I remember the day they had the fully-grown palm trees hoisted over the fence and planted next to the pool. In Coburg.
The TV series itself is excellent, though admitting you've watched it here in Victoria may lead to some interesting outcomes- possible prosecution for breaching a Supreme Court order, and certain exemption from jury service on any future trials being two options. It's certainly notable for being so Melbourne based- the story comes from and was completely filmed in Melbourne- yet avoiding any of the usual cliches. I've yet to see Luna Park or Flinders Street Station in the background, for instance, although both the Westgate and Bolte bridges feature a fair bit. "Neighbours" or "Secret Life Of Us" it isn't.

Glenn A. Baker are you listening?

Memo to the nerdy Australian rock historian and (snigger) ex-Ol'55 manager: It seems you have some of supreme music svengali Kim Fowley's property and need to return it.

Almost worse than Christian rock

Rock and roll has everything else. Why not a theme park? That’s the thinking of the people behind Hard Rock Park in South Carolina, where you can ride the “Eagles Life in the Fast Lane” rollercoaster or “Led Zeppelin – The Ride” (mudshark optional, ladies.)

"Today is truly a momentous day in the evolution of rock and family vacations," said Steven Goodwin, CEO of Hard Rock Park. "Just like the music itself, Hard Rock Park is all about the experience and every visitor that walks through these gates from today on will walk out a rock star in their own right."

(As Hendrix would have said: “’scuse me while I kill this guy”.)

The celebration will conclude with the Hard Rock Park Grand Opening Extravaganza on June 2nd and 3rd. Kicking off the final weekend will be the Eagles on June 2 and then on June 3 renowned British rock band, The Moody Blues, will commemorate the official opening of the park's psychedelic, Moody Blues-inspired dark ride, “Nights in White Satin − The Trip”, followed by an exclusive live performance.

And you thought theme park rides were meant to be vomit-inducing, not the concept itself. Take a ride on the wild side here.

Funny Ha Ha From That Band With The Guy From Nirvana In It

Speaking of band riders...those wacky guys from the Sydney Daily Smellegraph's favourite band, the Food Fighters (close enough), have leaked their own hilarious list of backstage requirements for when they're on the road and it's been posted by The Smoking Gun. Read it and an earlier model here.

I don't especially like their music but I has to gives them props for trying. Still, it's not a patch on the effort by the Stooges.

Brian Eno turns 60

I'm not into synth music. So the fact he wrote the Windows start-up theme only slightly offsets his working with David Bowie and the especially loathsome U2 as far as birthday boy and ex-Poxy Music keyboardist Brian Eno goes. But no. It would have been much cooler if he'd written the start-up chimes for Apple.

Earcandy Podcast: Cos your ears deserve it

Always good to cop a new and worthy podcast, and Steve Lipincott's Earcandy fits the bill. Go listen to Ed Kuepper performing cuts from his "Honey Steels Gold" album at Sydney's Enmore Theatre earlier this year as part of the "Don't Look Back" festival here.

Along came a myrmekiaphila neilyoung and sat down beside her...?

From Wired comes news of a trapdoor spider named after Neil Young.

Nathan Hollywood

I've had this CD for a couple of weeks now, and it's very good indeed.
Dark, moody, country stuff, with an echoing sense of melancholy that is not specific to any place- it could be coming from the Mexican desert, the Australian outback or the Norwegian tundra.
Anyway, he's launching it tonight at the Northcote Social Club, with the Kill Devil Hills. Get there, if only to see someone play the saw on stage.

Production difficulties

Well, things got away from me earlier this week- here's a basic draft of the chatter that mattered. You'll figure it out, bright penny that you are.



Normal service will be resumed when I finish this bottle of red wine.

Hawkeye is Hated In the Nation

You thought G.G. Allin was a self-mutilating, misogynistic, junk-abusing, shit-eating punk with a small dick who met a premature death in 1993? The Myspace phenomenon frequently lays bare a truth that's way stranger than fiction.

In G.G.'s case, Myspace and the photographic evidence reproduced here shows him to have been a close relative of Haweye Pearce from 4077 M*A*S*H*

Johnny Dole and The Scabs

From the YouTube treasure trove being assembled by Rockstralia, here's something most people won't have seen before or even knew existed: The film clip for Johnny Dole and The Scabs' "Aggro".

Johnny Dole and The Scabs were occasional Oxford Funhouse attractions and later became denizens of the Sydney punk scene around The Grand Hotel near Central Railway Station. They even scored column space in the old Daily Mirror, I seem to recall. Tabloid poster boys for punk. Abbrerant Records compiled some of their stuff posthumously and Brain Salad Surgery went a step further and did a compilation CD.

Cut Rate Masters

Well, them Cowboys did the business last night. Garry, Mark, Penny, Nick & Stefan pulled out all the stops. Here's the list:

Once again, I got grief from some ape-fucker idiot of a bouncer when I grabbed this, during "We Love You". Like, it's not as if the band need it at the end of the set- and anyway, there were three or four others dotted around the stage. This time round, Mr. Gray saved my bacon, by lurching off the stage, grabbing me in a bear hug and bellowing " Of course we do..." into my ear and the mike simultaneously. A dream end to a dream show.

Sacredsexstkilda

The Sacred Cowboys blow back into their spiritual home, St. Kilda for a one-off in the Greyhound back room, with support from the Exotics and the Frowning Clouds This is pretty much a must-see. If you never saw this band in their early 80s heyday you missed a real experience, some of which can be captured on their double CD “Nailed to the Cross”, just out on Savage Beat, with excellent liner notes.

Fans will be reunited with memories of their compelling combination of mesmerizing lyrics and swirling wall of sound guitars which saw them quickly become one of the hottest alternative bands on the scene back in the day, and a
major drawcard especially in hometown Melbourne and Sydney (where they found kindred spirits like The Scientists).
Something of a post-punk supergroup (with members drawn from the original line-up of Models and Suicide Records group The Negatives), The Sacred Cowboys gained instant notoriety when they appeared in '82, thanks to frontman Garry Gray's chainsaw wielding antics on stage. They played a wild, dangerous and completely unique brand of rockn'roll inspired by the artists whose material they covered, including SUICIDE, ALAN VEGA, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART, CRAMPS, VELVET UNDERGROUND, CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL and ALEX CHILTON.
A reconstituted Sacred Cowboys line-up will be playing a showcase of special Victorian gigs during their Australian tour in April/May 2008. Featuring founding members GARRY GRAY and MARK FERRIE with PENNY IKINGER on guitar, and the band's second phase 'Trouble From Providence' rhythm section of NICK RISCHBIETH and STEPHAN FIDOCK.

More St. Kilda shenanigans tomorrow night- Elbow Room launch their stage version of seminal dirty book “Venus In Furs” at Theatreworks in Acland St.

Venus In Furs inspired the diagnosis of a whole new category of sexual perversion. Since the 1800s, masochism has largely shrugged off its unsavoury reputation, attaining a kind of underground ‘glamour’. Today it has well and truly been embraced by the mainstream, its ubiquity obvious in the burgeoning popularity of all forms of fetishistic entertainment, particularly the recent resurgence of burlesque. In revisiting the original text, Elbow Room brings to the stage the source of an entire genre of sexual gratification and entertainment in a timely reminder of the continuing influence of Sacher-Masoch’s novel.

My 1970 edition of this is illustrated:

But not in as saucy a manner as you may expect, and it is still as dull a read as ever, regardless. What can be done with it onstage remains to be seen.

Note- if I could have been bothered I’d have put a segue in between those two, about the Sacred Cowboys playing “Run Run Run” live or something. But I didn't. Sorry.