the professor speaks, part one

Did I dream this or overhear it somewhere? Maybe I made it up.

70, no, make that 80 percent of what is known today as rock and roll performance is utter bullshit, that requires the total and willing suspension of disbelief on the part of the audience to get off the ground, let alone fly any distance (says the professor, drink in hand, and fat arse firmly planted on a Tote barstool).
Buying a Strat and a Marshall amp does not make you a god. Leather pants? Don’t make me laugh! But people will still go for it if you’re lucky. And Danny Sugerman's “shaman” theory of Morrison, Jagger & Rose -yeah, stop sniggering at the back there, he did really mean AXL Rose- is complete cock, too, but those moves still pull ‘em in.
For most of the bad boys, though, the highway to hell actually leads them to semi-comfortable retirement, plugging old tunes at reunion shows & hoping that old hit gets picked up for use in a beer ad. Unless, of course, that shit really does kill you, in which case it’s game over for everyone except the lawyers & the record company.
Now, (belch) if someone wants to stick a dollar in the juke box and punch in “My Pal”, let’s move onto today’s classics lesson…

There's more of this to come, I think. Comments welcome, film & TV rights still available